What Are Sexual Norms?

Ever wonder if you’re sexually “normal?” You may be curious how often others have sex, or what types of sexual activity they have. Don’t be embarrassed—it’s perfectly natural to wonder about sexual behavior and how you fit in.

Our individual preferences vary greatly and fluctuate throughout our lives. Societal attitudes change over time. We’re more open to discussing sexual behavior these days, but in many respects it’s still a very private matter. There’s some interesting data, but it’s wise not to get too caught up in the concept of normal.


How Often?
How often do most people have sex? That depends on what you consider to be sex. Statistics vary, depending on whether you’re talking about vaginal intercourse, oral sex, or mutual masturbation. Marital status, age, and health also make a difference. The only thing that really matters is your own satisfaction, and that of your partner.

According to the National Opinion Research Center, people aged 18 to 29 have sex about 84 times a year. In their 40s, most people drop off to 63 times a year, and by age 70 and up, it’s about 10 times.

Your Sexual Repertoire
The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB) revealed that most people between the ages of 14 and 94 have quite a repertoire. It’s almost never about just one sex act. In fact, survey respondents reported more than 40 combinations of sex acts. Vaginal intercourse is the most common behavior, but oral sex and/or partnered masturbation are also popular.

Oh, That Elusive Orgasm!
Approximately 85 percent of men say their partner had an orgasm the last time they had sex. Only 64 percent of women say they had an orgasm.
For men, vaginal intercourse is the most common way to orgasm.
Women orgasm more often when oral sex or some other stimulation is included. According to Harvard Medical School, a norm for female sexual response is qualitative and difficult to measure.
I'd say it depends on the couple and if the connection between them is strong enough, those tell tale tingly feelings begin the moment you touch.

Sex Is Not Just for the Young
According to a study commissioned by AARP, people over age 45 say sexual activity is a very important part of their lives and has a direct impact on quality of life. About half of all study participants reported having sexual intercourse at least once a week. They also enjoy touching, caressing, and hugging. They like sex and say they would not be pleased to give it up.


Those Other Behaviors
Lots of people are reluctant to talk candidly about their sexual activities. That’s why real numbers are hard to come by. Suffice it to say that a fair number of us indulge in other sexual behaviors, including:



It all comes down to the personal preferences of consenting adults.


Changing Attitudes
There was a time, not so long ago, when one simply didn’t discuss sex in polite company. Now it’s hard to avoid the subject. It’s easier than ever to talk about it, ask questions, and seek professional advice. Although once taboo subjects, people now speak more openly about masturbation, homosexuality, and bisexuality. Still, what people do in the privacy of their own homes, and what they will admit to, may be two different things. Don’t worry about measuring up to others. The only measuring standard you need is your own.